There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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