I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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