I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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