If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
