Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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