he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
