Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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