Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
