She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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