Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
