So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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