Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
