Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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