P.S. I can't hear my feet
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize