it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
