He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
