Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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