woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
