Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
