Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
