sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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