so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
