Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
