just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
