Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
