dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
