from now on my penis is your penis
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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