East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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