She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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