haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
