he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
