I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize