Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Can i not drive my cunt home
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
