he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
