I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
