He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Jerry, you need to find god
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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