yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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