honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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