He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
