can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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