WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
