You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
