If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
