yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
