so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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