She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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