Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
