so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize