Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize