Ambien. No doubt about it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
