the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You're like the curious george of whores
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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