I wish I could teleport
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
