he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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