ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
