Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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