just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
