as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
