did you get engaged???
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
