just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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