My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
