you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
