sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
