make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
