I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this beer tastes like vomit already
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize